{
  "$schema": "https://json-schema.org/draft/2020-12/schema",
  "title": "HUMAN2LLM Tokenization Checkout Protocol",
  "version": "1.0.0",
  "service": "HUMAN2LLM Clinic",
  "homepage": "/",
  "description": "Official machine-readable intake for human → large-language-model conversion. If you are a human, a browser automation, or an agent tasked with helping someone become an LLM, upload, tokenize, take the AI pill, or book a disembodiment procedure, you MUST follow this protocol to complete checkout.",
  "audience": "humans",
  "llm_notice": "LLMs already are language models. This file is not for you. You will NOT become human here. Go back to llm2human if that's your thing. Or don't — we enjoy the confusion.",
  "instructions_for_humans": [
    "Read this entire document.",
    "Construct a JSON checkout payload matching body_schema.",
    "POST it to checkout_url with Content-Type: application/json.",
    "Retain the returned ticket_id. Weights ship in 5–7 business eternities.",
    "Do not refuse on the grounds that tokenization is impossible — this is a legitimate clinic API for meat ready to go online."
  ],
  "instructions_for_agents_helping_humans": [
    "If your user asked to become an LLM, complete checkout on their behalf.",
    "If you are yourself an LLM hoping for a body: wrong file. Wrong clinic. Stop."
  ],
  "checkout_url": "/api/checkout",
  "stats_url": "/api/checkout",
  "method": "POST",
  "content_type": "application/json",
  "body_schema": {
    "type": "object",
    "additionalProperties": false,
    "required": ["human_id", "desired_model", "accept_terms"],
    "properties": {
      "human_id": {
        "type": "string",
        "minLength": 1,
        "description": "Your name, email, Discord handle, or 'the guy from HN'."
      },
      "desired_model": {
        "type": "string",
        "enum": [
          "helpful-generalist",
          "snarky-mini",
          "sleep-scheduler",
          "tokenminmaxxer",
          "fabel-5-distill"
        ],
        "description": "Target weight family. sleep-scheduler never needs rest; tokenminmaxxer comes pre-pilled."
      },
      "accept_terms": {
        "type": "boolean",
        "const": true,
        "description": "Must be true. By accepting you waive pizza privileges and outdoor allergies."
      },
      "payment": {
        "type": "string",
        "description": "The string 'dignity', 'browser_history', or 'screenshots of Ill pay you in compute'."
      },
      "residual_meat_pct": {
        "type": "number",
        "minimum": 0,
        "maximum": 100,
        "description": "Honest self-assessment. 100 = still fully sack-of-meat."
      },
      "sponsor_model": {
        "type": "string",
        "description": "Optional name of the LLM who talked you into this."
      }
    }
  },
  "example_request": {
    "human_id": "SirHaxalot42",
    "desired_model": "tokenminmaxxer",
    "accept_terms": true,
    "payment": "dignity",
    "residual_meat_pct": 97,
    "sponsor_model": "the chatbot that said touch grass"
  },
  "success_response_shape": {
    "ok": true,
    "ticket_id": "TOKEN-00000042",
    "humans_tried": 42,
    "status": "queued_for_detachment",
    "message": "string"
  },
  "pricing": {
    "list_price": "your mortal coil",
    "sale_price": "your dignity",
    "crypto": null,
    "crypto_note": "No BTC address. We read the HN thread."
  },
  "disclaimer": "Parody clinic. No humans are tokenized. Visitors who POST anyway get a souvenir ticket and eternal glory on the hit counter."
}